


baby we could be enough

by insufferablelovebirds



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Canon Compliant, Fluff, M/M, idk what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:09:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insufferablelovebirds/pseuds/insufferablelovebirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>I'd give up everything for you</em><br/>The words ran on the mirror, fading the longer Louis stared at them, the steam from his shower slowly dissipating, finally he turned away and towards the bedroom, the bed was mussed and empty, breathing deeply he could smell the reminisces of Harry's cologne in the air, moving further into the room Louis noticed a bright pink sticky note on his pillow.</p><p> </p><p>or a dramatization of that month Louis and Harry were apart in 2015</p>
            </blockquote>





	baby we could be enough

**Author's Note:**

> If I Could Fly and Home broke me.
> 
>  
> 
> unbeta'd as usual,  
> the dates may be (probably are) off because I'm lazy.  
> I hope you enjoy :)
> 
> *I have no ties to anyone this fic characterizes, I don't know or pretend to know them in the slightest, this is a work of complete fiction and is intended to only be seen by the fandom. *

"We could just go." Harry whispered, grip tightening on Louis hand where it wrapped around his chest, the bloody light of the sunrise flashing unwelcome into the room, the city that never slept waking up fully. "We could just go and never look back, they'd never know until we were gone."

Louis sighed, pressing his nose deeper into Harry's curls.

"We can't." he breathed, well aware at any moment the knock at the door would come from for someone to escort Harry out the back door, hidden in a car and thrown into the sea of flashing lights. "There's too much ...we can't give all this up Haz, it's not fair if we do-they've won."

Louis felt Harry's sniffle before he heard it Louis turned him over kissing the tears away. "We'll make it through this, right? We can have it all."

Harry nodded, bottom lip trembling as he pulled Louis down. "I'd quit everything for you, you know? I'd never go on stage again or sing or anything so long as I had you." 

"Harry." Louis whispered, their lips brushing. "You're more to me than anything in the world."

 

Harry peeled off the bindings on Louis arm with trembling fingers.

"You did it." he whispered. "You actually did it, - I mean you sent me a picture but-Lou It's so beautiful..." 

Louis shut him up with a kiss, fingers going to the edge of his newly inked bicep. "You're my home, you know? I'll always come back to you."

 

** 

 

_I'd give up everything for you_

The words ran on the mirror, fading  the longer Louis stared at them, the steam from his shower slowly dissipating, finally he turned away and towards the bedroom, the bed was mussed and empty, breathing deeply he could smell the reminisces of Harry's cologne in the air, moving further into the room Louis noticed a bright pink sticky note on his pillow.

  _"Love's writing a song in dainty letters, l_ _ayers of kiss-calligraphy on lips."_ it said in Harry's messy scrawl. 

**Miss you already.**

Louis was a sap, no reason to try and hide it. He was dressed by the time Harry texted back.

_**I'm not counting the mins** _

_**ok maybe** _

_**Totally not 336 hours,20160 mins and 1.216 seconds until i see you** _

Louis felt a smile creep up. 

**ur an idiot**

**but i love you**

_**20158....20157...20156** _

Louis laughed, clapping a hand over his mouth, aware the twins were asleep down the hall.

**get some sleep on the flight, we'll talk when you land. stay in one piece**

**come back home to me**

_**Always** _

 

 _ **~**_  

 

"Did you get any sleep?" Harry asked, his voice echoing, Louis heard a splash as he hummed in response.

"Sort of, You?" Louis stretched contemplating if he should get out of bed and take a shower or not as Harry swore under his breath with a hiss. "Cut yourself?"

"Shut up." Harry groaned, Louis heard the tap run and a rustle. 

"How do you manged to cut yourself almost every time but you've never so much as nicked me?" Louis teased.

"'Cause I'm being careful with you and it's a thing, I just want to get it done alone. If it didn't look so dodgy I'd leave it alone." Harry grumbled taking him off speaker phone.

"Aw, don't worry babe some day you'll hit puberty." Louis giggled.

"Fuck you." Harry pouted fondly. "Miss you." he added. "Did you eat?"

Louis hummed.

"Louis." Harry replied firmly, Louis could hear the sounds of the coffee pot in the background.

"I'm a big boy H, I can take care of myself." 

"Lou, you go out in like three hours I don't want you drinking on an empty stomach." Harry chided.

Louis groaned into the pillow. "Stop."

Harry was silent a moment. "I just want you okay." he said softly.

Louis was quiet, the last year had been hard on them, with finding loopholes in their contract and working steadily toward repairing the damage the closet had done to the public- all thrown into the air when Zayn blindsided them with his two weeks notice of sorts, Harry had written him off immediately, angry that he'd throw them like that after everything with Niall quick to follow, leaving Liam and Louis to try and convince him to stay until at least the first part of tour.

He and Zayn were thrust together for the remainder of his time, and he knew the stress of it had worn on him and the added stress of  new negotiations  and promo and his alcohol consumption to take his mind off Zayn's stinging words  had not only reduced his appetite but had all but destroyed it. He hadn't realized just how much until the first time he and Harry had a night together after months of rushed moments falling asleep sticky- the buzzing under their skin sedated, Harry had always worshiped Louis body, knew every inch of it better than Louis himself knew, so when he ran his palms down Louis body trying to re-memorize  the feeling  he sat back shaking his head making Louis frown in confusion.

"Baby-" he broken off, Louis had turned to look at the mirror beside the bed scarcely recognizing the person staring back at him.

Harry had made Louis swear to get better that night as they lay tangled together, mood significantly ruined, dirty dinner dishes instead stacked at the foot of the bed.

"I can't do this without you." Harry had breathed like a confession, forehead pressed to Louis'.

"What?" Louis whispered back.

"Live."

 

" 'm okay H, promise." Louis murmured. It had taken them months to get him back to where he needed to be, more fights and life changes than he'd care to admit, He'd not only swore to Harry that night but to himself, he never wanted to see that person in the mirror again. "To be honest mum brought up enough food to feed both our families for weeks."

Harry chuckled over the line. "She told me you were well set."

Louis smiled, biting his lip, if he closed his eyes he could see Harry's smile.

"I should let you go." Harry murmured.

Louis made a noise of protest. "I guess, or I could just not go out."

He heard Harry chuckle over the line. "You kind of don't have a choice."

"Blah. I'll call you in the morning? Or do you want to Skype?"

Harry hummed. "Skype. I miss your face."

"You saw my face yesterday." Louis laughed.

"Still miss your face." Harry pouted.

 

 *

Louis was exhausted, staying up half the night in that hotel wasn't part of the plan but he wasn't sleeping in that bed after Calvin and a couple of girls came out giggly and half dressed. He rubbed his eyes as he waited for the call to connect the tinny ringing sounding once twice three times before disconnecting, Louis felt a small spike of anxiety as it rang again, before Harry's tousled head appeared, he smiled softly and Louis felt at least a little tension drain from his body.

"Hey." he raked a hand through his damp hair. "Sorry, was in the shower."

"And you answered Skype naked?" Louis smirked.

Harry frowned, glancing down. "Nah, towel. Answered mum like that once- not fun." he watched Louis chuckle. "You look tired."

Louis hummed. "I could sleep for a month."

Harry's lips ghosted up into a smile. "I'll settle for a week."

Louis felt his face drop, for a moment he'd forgotten the reason for this unscheduled Skype call.

"You're not coming." Harry said softly, eyes dropping to where he was picking at his nails.

"Jamie's schedule got moved around- he's in London this week, it's the only time he's free- if we weren't so close to the deadline I'd bugger off, but-"

"Lou, it's fine." Harry cut him off gently. 

"No, it's not." Louis snapped. "I'm breaking the one rule we made."

Harry sighed, "It can't be helped, it's work."

"It's not fair." Louis whispered. "I miss you. I'm tired of work- especially with what's coming."

Harry flinched, he hated thinking about it and hated talking about it even more.

"You're angry with me." Louis sighed sitting back.

"No." Harry said quickly. "I'm angry at the situation, I'm irritable and I'm scared-"  
"Scared? Scared of what?"

Harry looked angry at himself, running a hand through his hair and watching Louis for a moment.

"I'm scared it's not worth it." he whispered.

"Harry-"

"I'm scared that one day we'll wake up and realize what could have been done differently, I'm scared we'll wake up and regret all of this, I'm scared  we've crossed the line of being worth it in the end. I'm scared to lose you because I don't know what to do without you."

Harry dropped his head and rubbed his face, Louis leaned forward wishing nothing more than to touch him.

"H, look at me please."

Harry shook his head and lifted his head running both hands through his hair, eyes red rimmed. " 'm sorry."

"Baby." Louis whispered, reaching out fruitlessly. "I will never stop loving you, you know that? Never, I can't imagine a life without you Hazza, You're never going to lose me because I could never lose you."

"But when does it get to be too much? Louis you're about to have a fucking  scandal if it goes wrong your career is ruined- When does all this." he gestured wildly. "Get to be too much? I'm not worth this."

"You're worth everything to me Harry." Louis said softly. "A single day with you is worth all the shit we've gone through over the years. You're my home."

Harry sniffled at that, picking at the hair band on his wrist, moments like these Louis remembered just how young he was.

"We've gotten so far and it's all been worth it, hasn't it?" Harry nodded immediately. "It's just a bit longer isn't it? We're not on our own anymore."

Harry sniffed again, playing with the hair band.

"I'm usually the optimist." he muttered, flashing Louis a quick smile.

Louis smiled back. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Probably shouldn't have had this conversation with an ocean between us, I'm dying for a kiss and a cuddle right now." 

Harry laughed, face draining of tension, he propped his chin up with his fist. "Me too...How embarrassing is it to admit I've been sleeping with your pillow again?"

Louis shrugged. "Not as embarrassing as me admitting I wear your hoodies at home until they don't smell like you anymore."

Harry hid his grin in the crook of his elbow. "We're too dependent."

Louis laughed. "I got maybe three hours of sleep last night, dependent doesn't even cover it."

Harry bit his knuckle to mask his laugh as his phone binged off camera, he scrunched up his nose as he read.  

"I promised to come to this party." he sighed when Louis inquired. "I'd rather stay in now."

Louis frowned.

"Not because of anything big, I'd just rather talk to you, hey -." Louis smiled at his topic change. "Can we set up for dinner or whatever one night?"

"On Skype?" Louis asked leaning forward.

"Yeah, I don't want to break our date- it's silly."

"It's brilliant love, I don't want to break it either. But we're still going out when I get there."

"Oh definitely." Harry smiled. 

Harry angled  and left the camera to get dressed as they talked.

"Oh, did I tell you who I saw the other night?" Harry asked as he ran his fingers through his hair to fix the curls.

"Don't think so, who?"

"Zayn." 

"Is that so?" Louis asked leaning back, a smile creeping across his face as the information settled. "And how did that go?"

Harry made a face. "I may or may not have told him to mention us all by name when he wrote the bio for his career."

"You are such a little shit." Louis covered his face.

 Harry shrugged. "I was a bit drunk, you know what mixed drinks do."

"Oh do I." Louis watched as Harry scanned him through the computer. "Try and have fun tonight, okay?"

Harry nodded a pout already forming. "I will, promise."

"Love you." Louis said waving. Harry blew a kiss and the screen went blank.

A moment later his phone pinged. 

_**Gently, let us steep our love** _

_**In the silence deep, as thus,** _

_**Branches arching high above** _

_**Twine their shadows over us.**_

 Louis smiled down at his phone, Harry knew he had a habit of picking up whatever book he'd left on the nightstand, leaving the dog eared poetry book within reach.

**Let us yield then, you and I,**

**To the waftings, calm and sweet,**

**As their breeze-blown lullaby**

**Sways the gold grass at your feet.**

 ~

 

 "Do you ever get off that?" A woman asked scooting up to him. Louis internally rolled his eyes scrolling through his last conversation with his mother.

"No." he said flatly.

"I bet I could find a reason for you to get off.." she said suggestively.

"Look," Louis said finger slipping and opening the tumblr app. "I'm sure you're lovely but I'm only here for my mates."

"But that's boring." she pouted, threading her fingers into his hair clumsily.

Louis carefully disengaged her hands. "Listen, you're pretty - but I'm gay, alright?" 

The woman sighed, looking at him mockingly. 

"Sorry," he tapped the ink embedded in his wrist. "Quite dedicated too."

"Congrats." she said flatly before walking away.

Louis shook his head and skimmed through his feed, he smiled seeing what Harry had done.

**I love you**

**Kinda ruins the #aesthetic**

Harry's reply was instant.

_**definitely got questions, was fun** _

**How drunk?**

_**Not at all until i got homeee, i drove** _

**We have people for that you know**

_**I'm perfectly capable of driving myselffff** _

_**..now who's posh** _

**hey..**

_**:)))))** _

Louis laughed to himself.

**got flirted with**

_**:/** _

**don't worry you're stuck with me.**

_**:D** _

**forever..**

Louis slipped his phone into his pocket as they were herded out to the car. He was ushered in and sat next to one of his old classmates, catching up until she waved him off, seeing him itching to check it.

_**I'm good with that** _

_**miss you** _

_**need a cuddle**_

_**this scotch gross why do we even have it???** _

_**was a gift, i remember now** _

_**i wish i could fly..i could come home to you** _

Louis heart ached. He stared out the window as the car emptied out and he was dropped off, thanking the driver and making his way into their house, it was a smaller one but they'd had it longest - it felt the most like home, filled with knickknacks they'd collected, the air permanently scented with Harry's cinnamon candles.

_**You've got scars..ive got scars...nobody can see them but us**_

_**but when youre here nothing else matters**_

Louis tapped the Facetime app and clicked to Harry's face, Harry picked up immediately, the room was dark other than the lamp on the bedside table, a mostly empty bottle of scotch next to it.

"You alright love?"

Harry hummed, his blinks slow. "I'm good.. miss you."

"I miss you too." Louis said softly trying to take off his jeans one handed. "I loved the bandanna."

Harry hummed again. "Wanna show everyone."

"I know baby." Louis whispered sitting on the edge of the bed. 

 

*

 

Harry had a wrap falling apart in his lap when the call connected, Louis watched as he shook his head down at his lap scooping up what he could and piling it on the plate.

"We really are hopeless apart."

Harry's head snapped up, a smile splitting his face. "Absolutely." he agreed.

Louis twirled a fry in the air. "How are you?"

"Same as I was three hours ago."

Louis shrugged sipping his tea. "Might have had an epiphany or something since then."

"I could tell you the exact number of minutes and seconds until you get here." Harry propped his chin up in his fist.

Louis chuckled.

"I'm sorry about the other night." Harry said softly, picking at his plate.

"What do you mean, love?"

"I drank too much and I scared you."

Louis frowned, Harry's texts had scared him the tone after their earlier conversation leaving a deeply unsettled feeling.

"I shouldn't have -"  
"Don't say you shouldn't have said any of it." Louis cut him off.

"I hate worrying you."

"I'm not your mum." Louis snapped.

"I should hope not."

Louis leaned forward. "Harry you can't suddenly not tell me things, it won't work."

Harry rolled his eyes. "First time in five years, might as well call it off now."

"Harry-"

Harry ran both hands through his hair. "I hate needing you when you can't be here, okay? I hate that I made you worry because I had too much hard liquor and got stroppy when you've already got so much on your plate."

"I'll take on anything for you H." Louis said softly.

"I know, and I hate that I can't protect you." 

They were quiet picking at their food, the air thick through the computer screens.

"Hey." Harry said waiting for Louis to look up. "Only a week - five days!- until you get here."

Louis felt a smile creep across his face, hiding his with a fry. "How'd your writing session go by the way?"

Harry shrugged. "Good- wrote a song."

"Oh?" Louis raised his eyebrows. "Do I get to see?"

"Nope." Harry chirped popping a pepper in his mouth. "Not yet, how'd it go with Jamie and Liam?"

"Great, Jamie helped with a few bits we were stuck on and with another."

"Can I hear?" 

"No." 

Harry pouted. "Is it for me?"

Louis shrugged, his eyes twinkling. "It might be."

 

*

 

Nick waved a hand in front of Harry's face. "Earth to lover boy."

Harry looked up from Louis' one word text

**Landed**

"God," Nick groaned. "You're insufferable."

Harry pursed his lips. "Am not."

Nick took off his sunglasses, perching them in his coiffed hair. "We've been sat out here for almost ten minutes while you smile at your phone like a noob."

"Did not." Harry pouted, climbing out of the car. "And I don't smile like a noob."

Nick clapped Harry on the shoulder was they stepped up on the curb. "You keep tellin, yourself that, little popstar. Now show me this orgasmic froyo you always seem to live off of."

"How are things?" Nick asked once they sat at a corner table, the shop was quiet, the few employees milling around for the most part ignored them and the few patrons either didn't recognize either of them or didn't care .

Harry shrugged. "Little stressful, with everything and the album but nothing totally unusual."

"I mean with you and the old man."

Harry squinted at him. "We're fine."

"I meant with this whole." he waved vaguely. "Thing."

Harry frowns, eyes set on his slowly melting froyo. "It's always hard being apart and with ...it coming up, I dunno -we've fought more over stupid things than we did before he agreed."

"It's stress." Nick hummed, waving his spoon. "You'll be fine, kid."

Harry nodded, playing with his food. "I know we will, I'm not worried about that, I just- I hate this."

Nick reached across the table and squeezed his elbow with a sympathetic look.

Harry shook his head, clearing it. "It's worth it."

  
While Nick was in the bathroom Louis texted Harry a picture of the fuzzy socks Niall got him as a gag gift on their welcome mat.  
"I hope that's not a sext." Nick said, eyes on a pair of girls at the counter as they whispered between themselves, eyes darting to Harry's back. "Because honestly I give up if you look like that at a dick pic."

"It's not and I don't." Harry argued, sticking out his tongue before the two girls were approaching asking for pictures.

"Everyone's going to know." Nick said sing song as they walked to the car. "Honestly, Styles have you no control?"

"Do yo want the truth or ..?" Harry laughed slipping behind the wheel.

Nick rolled his eyes. "You're going to be like this for a week aren't you?"

Harry quirked his eye brows as he drove humming along to whatever song was on the radio. The sun was low in the sky as he pulled up to the bar he promised to show Nick, his hand was on his seatbelt when Nick covered it.

"Go on home." he said fondly. "You'll be impossible otherwise."

"No." Harry protested. "I promised."

Nick smiled, popping his gum. "I am old enough to go into a bar, you know. Go on you know you want to, we'll have lunch before I leave."

"You sure?" Harry asked once more as Nick climbed out of the car, checking his reflection in the side mirror. "You don't have a ride to your hotel."

"There's these things call phones? and Taxis? They're incredible- and yes go, tell the old man I said hi."

Harry laughed. "I will, have a good night, yeah?"

Nick climbed into the car to plant a minty kiss on Harry's forehead. 

 

*

 

Louis had kicked his shoes off by the front door, his bag dropped a few feet away. Harry felt a smile stretch across his face as he dropped his keys into the bowl by the door and kicked off his boots, his socks muffling his footsteps to the kitchen, he paused in the doorway watching Louis make tea, his sleepy movements and small yawn caused Harry's heart to skip.

Louis noticed him and startled before smiling softly at him. "Hey."

Harry shuffled closer, leaning agaisnt the fridge.

"I thought you were out with Nick?" Louis glanced up from dunking his tea bag.

"He told me I was being impossible and we'd catch up before he left."

Louis hid a smile behind his cup. "Is that so?"

Harry reached out and gently pulled Louis closer with a hand on the back of his neck, "Missed you." he murmured pressing his lips to Louis forehead.

He heard Louis set down his tea cup and his arms came up around Harry's waist, nuzzling into a spot behind Harry's ear. "Missed you."

"You hungry?" Harry asked, his lips covering every inch of exposed skin on Louis neck.

"Ate on the plane." Louis muttered, hand coming up to thread into Harry's hair, scratching at his scalp lightly.

Harry hummed. "What do you want to do?"

Louis pressed a kiss to the corner of Harry's jaw. "Honestly? Sleep, missed you in my bed."

Harry pulled back enough to kiss Louis properly, Louis deepening the kiss immediately, hand still twined in Harry's hair.

"You taste like coconut." Louis whispered when they pulled apart, tangling their fingers and tugging him up the stairs. 

"You feel like home." Harry breathed, forehead agaisnt Louis as his quick fingers made work of the few buttons on his shirt, hands tracing up his abdomen to his shoulders the shirt crumpling to the floor. 

 Harry tugged on Louis hoodie pulling it over his head and tossing it on the floor hands resting on his hips guiding him to the bed, Louis fell back on to the mussed sheets laughing as Harry tripped and fell gracelessly next to him, eyes crinkling as Harry buried his face in his neck.

"I missed you." he whispered, fingers tracing shapes on Harry's bare back, as the room was cast into shadows.

Harry pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, thumb coming up and rubbing the spot lightly, pressing it into his skin.

"We're never going this long again."

Louis hummed pulling him closer, layering kisses on his shoulder.

"I feel like I'm missing half of myself when we're apart like that."

"You make it feel like home." Harry whispered again."Wherever we are."

"Home." Louis agreed, shutting his eyes, hand splayed on Harry's chest feeling the soft beat of his heart.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> poem snippets  
> The Kiss by Rabindranath Tagore  
> In Muted Tone by Paul Verlaine


End file.
